Friday, January 22, 2016

Homemade Sub Bread

Lately we are busy! It seems almost every single night there is something to do and we are rushing through dinner. There are even nights we aren't even able to make it home. So what are our dinner options? Either some kind of fast food, which for this family of 5 could cost us around $30-$40, or bring something from home that is easy to take along.

And our preferred easy travel food are sub sandwiches.  Everyone can have just what they want on their sandwich so there is no complaining and it's filling with chips and fruit on the side. It makes a full meal and that makes this mom happy!

And I have completely embraced making our own Sub Sandwich Bread. I have found that the store sub bread just never quite makes the cut. It just lacks flavor, is typically too thick and makes sandwiches too dry. But this homemade bread can be as thick as you like and is soft and just plain yummy!

Give it a try and see how your family likes it. And it's super easy.

Homemade Sub Bread

2 cups all purpose flour
2 cups bread flour
2 tsp salt
2 Tbsp oil (I use olive oil)
2 tsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp yeast
1 1/3-1 1/2 cups warm water

1. Set the stand mixer with dough hook. In bowl add flours, salt, oil, sugar, yeast. Combine on lowest setting for 30-60 seconds.
2. Slowly add water to mix while mixer is on. (start with about a cup and if it looks too dry slowly add a little more at a time until dough is wet)
3. Once a dough has formed knead on medium low for about 5-7 minutes and the dough is no longer sticking to the sides of the bowl.
4. Dump dough on to a clean counter a knead until it forms a smooth ball.
5. Place in an oiled bowl and cover with dishcloth and let rise until double in size, about an hour.
6. Once dough has risen, remove from bowl and divide into 6-8 pieces and shape to desired size and length.
7. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and let bread rise for about 30 minutes.
8. Bake in oven for 10-15 minutes. At 15 minutes, you'll have a crunchier crust and a soft inside and 10 minutes is soft all around bread.
9. Let cool, then slice through the middle and add your favorite sandwich fix ins!

I have found that this bread goes great with just about anything! Enjoy and let me know how your sandwiches turned out!

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Why I Left Facebook

Image courtesy of iamharin at

Tons and tons of people have said good-bye to Facebook for multiple different reasons. Some are tired of the drama, of the negativity. Some feel that they spend too much time on it and are ignoring their real life. The list can go on and on and on.

Facebook can be great too. It helped me to connect to family members that I hadn't seen or heard from in years. It helped me to learn a little bit more about my friends, things that may not come up in normal conversation. It let me share my blog to a larger audience than it receives now.

But I chose to close it down and leave it behind.

And here is why:

It just hurt too much.

When Michael confessed his affair and left me and our kids I held on to my facebook page.  I didn't post a single thing. But I watched. I kept it because I was receiving private messages from people who wanted to offer me a sense of support and love. I had many reach out and I didn't always respond. I honestly didn't really know how. I have a hard time letting people in and I was in a place that I left so abandoned and alone.

But after Michael and I decided to reconcile a lot of the support and messages were gone. And I would sign on to find conversations between the woman he cheated with and my friends on Facebook. 

And I hated it. I felt unprotected and unloved.

I felt so isolated and abandoned. And I quickly felt like I had no one to confide in. No one to bring the comfort that I desperately needed. Everyone's life was going on and mine was a crumbled mess that I was trying to clean up. 

And so I shut it down.

And I really did isolate myself.

And found how alone I really was. I was left with almost no social circle and having to start my whole life over. Somewhere along the line I have forgotten how to connect with people in new ways. I have forgotten how to make friends. I have forgotten how to share me. 

A couple of times I have tried to sign back in and maybe open myself up to social media again and I find even just staring at the homepage overwhelming. Because after 9 or 10 months without it I see how not real it is. And how close to people I really wasn't. 

I want to be a person in interacts with people in real life. And that is what I am trying to do better. I am not good at it. It takes months for me to feel comfortable with people to show who I am.

Somewhere along the way I lost something. Because I spent years with the same people, in the same church, in the same area, with the same friends. Interacting was easy. I didn't even have to try because it was all right in front of me. And now I have to make to effort.

Maybe some old friendships can be recovered. Maybe some new ones will develop further. Maybe I'll find a way to be comfortable with people faster. To willing to open up and not hide and not isolate.

Because life is not supposed to be lived alone. God created us to love and be loved and we can't do that without people. I can't do that without people. 

Yes, I have Michael and my kids and my family, but there is something about having a friend who absolutely knows who you are and loves you. And if I am completely honest, I don't know if I've ever had that friend, besides my husband.

And really, I just want one. One person that it's ok to pour my heart out to and cry and be broken and messed up in front of. Who will pick me up and love me. And I want someone that I love enough to do the same for. Someone who I can laugh with and share life with.

And really, who wouldn't want that kind of unconditional love from someone who really has no obligation to give it but chooses to anyway?

Maybe I'm asking too much. Maybe my friendship expectations are too high.

Or maybe I haven't been that friend so how can I expect anyone else to be. Because I have to start on my end.

So pray for me, pray for strength and wisdom and kindness. Pray that I will pick the phone and call or text; that I will reach out. That I will open myself up for a chance at a life long friendship. And I will be that kind of friend that does all the things that I am praying for someone to do for me.