Friday, November 8, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Truth

Five Minute FridayThere is a truth that I have inside myself.  I spend a lot of time trying to tell myself that I am ok the way I am.  That its ok to be overweight.  That its ok to not put on makeup and do my hair.  It's ok because I'm a stay at home mom and my kids are the only people that really see me and they love me no matter what.

But, if I'm being completely honest, I'm not happy with who I see in the mirror.  Right after giving birth to Anya I felt good about my body and how I looked.  It must of been the joy of having my baby because that feeling only stayed a little while.

I am not ok with how I am treating myself.  I've  gotten into a "woe is me" kind of funk going on.  I'm feeling sorry for myself and it zaps my motivation.  I make excuses to why I can't do things: I'm teaching the kids, the baby woke up a lot last night and I'm tired, I can't try to diet and lose weight because I'm nursing, I'm too busy and on and on and on.  I could come up with a million more, I'm sure.

I don't feel attractive and I don't feel like my husband is as attracted to me as he used to be.  I've truly let myself go and I'm finding it hard to find my way back.

The truth is that I just feel lost.

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