Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Weight

I am devastated every time I step on the scale. I swear I am a skinny person just stuck in a fat persons body. There was one time in my life that I was truly skinny and even then I was larger than most of my friends.

I've struggles with my weight my whole life. I've always liked food a little too much and ate the really healthy stuff to little of the time. I've never really eaten in moderation either. When I was in high school I was a cheerleader and we practiced for a couple hours a day 5 days a week. I was in constant motion, so worrying about what I ate didn't really matter.

Well, high school ended and I slowly have been packing on the pounds ever since. I am not happy with who I see when pictures are taken. I feel shocked every single time I see a new picture taken of me because this is just not how I see myself. I don't see myself as thin and toned or anything like that, but just didn't realize how I really am now.

I am happy with everything on the inside of me and I just need to start building on the outside who I feel I really am. I need to break out of the fat the surrounds me. I want Sidda and MJ to not see me as their fat mother. I want to be an example to them of how live, and how I am currently treating my body is no way to live. Somewhere along the past 10 years I've lost myself inside myself. There was a time in my life that I felt beautiful and confident and I want to feel this way again.

So, today is a new day. Today is a fresh start. Today I have joined sparkpeople.com. It is a free site that is dedicated to healthy weight loss and motivation. I will be keeping a blog on the website about my journey through becoming a better me. Really, becoming the person I know I am. You can follow that blog on the following link. my.sparkpeople.com/JSSABLL

I will let you know whenever I update that blog. Please keep my progress in your prayers and encouragement is always welcome.